Alright guys...since I didnt get to see much of either game...and thus am only really aware of the results of each championship...I cannot make this my usual play by play review and analysis. With that out of the question, I thought that I would lay down something a little different this time.
This is my attempt at passing on a very useful aspect of language and tone that I call "sarcasm." The hearty and meaty sarcasm that is to follow has been inspired by the way the upcoming superbowl matchup makes me feel. Think of this as your sarcasm 101. Here we go.
Hello my dear dear friends.
My, how I have missed you. (total sarcasm)
I had the absolute pleasure of missing both championship games (not sarcasm). I heard they were fantastic (back to sarcasm).
I'd like to begin with the AFC championship - the unstoppable San Diego Chargers vs. the disappointing New England Patriots. (Obvious sarcasm) All season, the patriots have really been struggling, and it was apt to be a blowout from the beginning. (still sarcasm)
However, with a reluctant leader in Tom Brady at quarterback, who would have guessed that they would control much of the game? Not me! (still being a sarcastic asshole)
Wow, what a surprising display of talent. I would have never expected the patriots to completely dominate all aspects of the game. (maintaining level of sarcasm) The chargers had several opportunities to win (not), and I half expected them to leave the Patriots in the dust at any time (no). Who would have guessed that the neckless Chargers could choke with such amazing fury? (me)
Are they not the undefeatable team we thought they were? (no one thought that) Certainly I would have never guessed that the hapless Patriots could out-do them in the playoffs at their home stadium. (yes i did)
The playoffs....a curious time in football......not predictable at all. (yes it was) What an exciting turn of events! (no it wasnt)
There's no telling what will happen in the Superbowl now! Couldn't possibly be a complete domination by the struggling patriots!?? OH! I am near death with anticipation.
NFC Championship - the giants with their gloriously shining leader in Manning...the very example of a hero...took it to the Pack - led by the dispicable and undeserving Farve early in OT last night. What a fairy tale! (not)
I mean, Manning is not at all a snivelling, pompous peice of dog shit covered in camel piss that has sat in the desert sun for months and has a large and distinguished growth of fungus that offers the only shade for miles. No!
He is a miracleman! He's so magical! He makes me want to grovel at his feet...not hurl forty pound sharp rocks repeatedly at his head. No chance I could EVER do that!
When he speaks, its as though my ears are having unbelievable sex with mozart himself.
When he steps back in the pocket, I'm most certainly not hoping to myself, "fumble you fuck face, interception you dirty herpe!"
Well, I think its obvious folks, the best team won. The giants are incredible...and they have a shoe in to take home the trophy on superbowl sunday. (doubtful) What a game it will be. Not even a chance that it will be lackluster and unexciting.
sigh...
DLP
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