Why Comcast Blows...

Warning: This has nothing to do with Chicago Sports or football. This is merely a paraphrased summary of an issue I had with my internet and cable provider. I didnt enjoy the fact that they were ruining my ESPN experience for about a month...so I became a dick. See below. THIS is what happens when you take football from me...ugliness.



"I don't feel like working and I am bored. Anyone know of anything time consuming that I can do today? I was thinking of playing with a stapler again...but I'm still dealing with the insurance companies from my previous incident...apparently, magnet phobia cannot be claimed as a resulting injury in a settlement case. Bullshit.

My boredom is so rampant...I'm taking all sorts of steps to entertain myself.
I've gone so far as to read a FAQ on how to play fantasy football. I've read far too much about Chris Benoit. I've pondered the idea that the Bears organization may have acted too quickly in regard to the Tank Johnson situation...and then thought better of it. Ive twiddled...Ive diddled...Ive tweedle deed and dummed.

Now, since I'm bored Id like to rant and grumble for a while, so read if youve got nothing better to do...this is really mainly for my entertainment.

So, some of you may be aware of the fact that Comcast blows...but I have recently been fucked in the ass by my cable/internet provider, and would like to tell the story...

So, I've been without cable service for a week now.

For no reason at all, I went on the comcast internet website and complained to an analyst in one of their support chat rooms for an hour. There was nothing they could do for me and I knew it. In fact, I had already been refunded for my inconvenience while speaking on the phone with a rep last night...but my chat room friend didn't know that. I figured, I might as well try to get more cable for free. You complain enough...you never know.

I failed however...no extra free cable on top of what I have already bitched my way into. I love being a bastard though...its the best part of being a consumer. Sure...I get raped when the cable bill comes...BUT if those fuckers make a mistake (and they do)...or something is wrong with the service (and it happens)...you better believe that someone is going to listen to me bitch until I get what I want - something for free. I dont care if it's a months worth of service, a hat, or a fucking blowjob...as long as its free...as long as someone admits fault and grovels for forgiveness...thats good customer service.

I'm not trying to be a dick, im responding to a serious inconvenience as a result of poor performance. The cable was installed...sure, good job...I paid for digital cable. Do I have it? no...so why would I pay for it? It doesnt matter that if I hook the tv directly in to the wall that I get all the channels. I paid for digital service and I am not paying for anything until I have the service that I wanted in the first place.

Since it has been installed, I have spent hours on the phone while they "send a signal to the cable box." 10 minutes later..."Sir, it doesnt seem to be working." No fucking kidding. So whats the solution? Well, after countless signal sending sessions to no avail...the solution is to send another installer out to my place. Great...what the fuck did the first one do? Track dirt into my apartment? ....sigh...

Soooo, the only time these installers can come to my apartment is when I'm not there because...holy shit...I HAVE A JOB...DEUSCHBAG! So if I want my cable to work the way I paid for it to work (functioning with a damn remote control)...I have to wait for the weekend, or take time off of work. So you can see, that it IS in fact an inconvenience. I'm sure you can also see at least a marginal potential for me to be a jackass to some poor sapp working customer service in this situation. Don't feel bad though, I went up through the correct channels and ended up yelling at a representative in a management role...I didnt take it out on the little guy.

Meanwhile...for some reason, a customer cannot order a self starter internet kit until the cable is fully installed. Why? good question...no one, not even employees of this fantastic monopoly cable company, seems to understand the logic in this. From my perspective, why the fuck does it matter if I get the starter kit even five weeks before i get cable installed...what am i going to do with it? Instead, I have to wait until cable is installed and THEN order it separately and THEN wait for it to ship and THEN install my internet...so i dont have internet until, at minimum, a week after I SHOULD have had cable (which I'm obviously still waiting for) and internet....at LEAST a week of paid for service, that I'm not getting. Why not let me order it early like I tried doing... why not ship it when I order cable service and have it in route while I wait a week for an installer to come out to start service. Where the hell is the logic in this? It makes no sense. Why am I paying for a minimum of a weeks worth of internet service if my ability to use the internet is somewhere in the fucking mail. DAMNIT! Im going to stab some poor bitch mother fucker in the placenta, and pour burning embers inside, and then pee on it.

And then maybe poo. Only if I ate chinese food the night before...


Kidding of course...I will wait patiently...

DLP